Disclaimer

I didn't really have a place to post my thoughts on my reading of Radical, so I started this blog specifically for this purpose. I have a personal blog, Taulman Times, but it is a private blog. I have a blog of photos and activities of my kids, Taulman Times: Special Edition, but I didn't feel these posts would be appropriate there. And, I have my homeschooling blog, Journey to Excellence, that is designated solely for that purpose. What does my title mean? It means that I do not see myself being able to submit to the level of being Radical that the book will require. I have a feeling I will be frustrated and angry through most of the book. I have a feeling I will be frustrated with many of the posts I read from other participants because they will appear to be willing to just "sell all and take up their cross." I want to change, I just don't want to change enough. This will be a difficult journey. I hope that you will stick with me through this journey. I am transparent. I will say it like I'm feeling it. But don't doubt for a second that I do not love the Lord fully and completely and desire to do as He calls me to do. I have just been hurt badly over the last year or so, all in the name of being a Christian. So, I have a lot to overcome. Let's get started.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Nitty Gritty

How can I claim to love the Lord yet have such a feeling of hatred towards people? I mentioned this in my Introduction post. (I don't know if it's true hatred as much as unlove .. are they the same thing?) How can I, who claims to love the Lord, lack in mercy, grace, patience and compassion?

By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Not everyone who says to me, "Lord, Lord," will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will sat to me on that day, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?" Then I will tell them plainly, "I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers."

~ Matthew 7:16-23

This was the passage of scripture my son and I studied this morning for school. Instead of thinking of someone else when I read this (as is my custom), I almost couldn't talk about it with him feeling that the bad tree and bad fruit were descriptions of me.

... A good tree cannot bear bad fruit ... A person who "loves the Lord" cannot "have a lack of love of people". That's how I read that.

I am a bad tree. I cannot bear good fruit.

How do I become a good tree again? Have I ever been a good tree?

Man, oh man.

Strangely, The Message version is talking about preachers when it is talking about good trees and bad trees. It is talking about preachers with charisma, out to rip you off. That is the context of the passage. {Aren't we all preachers of the gospel, however? So maybe it's warning to any of us claiming to be preaching the gospel. It's not about charisma and us looking good and taking glory. It's about God.}

But, versus 21-23 in The Message say this ...

"Knowing the correct password—saying 'Master, Master,' for instance— isn't going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. I can see it now—at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, 'Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.' And do you know what I am going to say? 'You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don't impress me one bit. You're out of here.'

What is required is serious obedience!

Ooohhh ... I have a lot of trouble with the issue of obedience.

I've always known that obedience is my problem. I have always said I have a disobedient spirit. I don't like to be told what to do. I have pride issues. I think I know everything. I never follow the crowd, whether in good things or bad. {It's truly a God-given miracle that I am reading this book because it's something many are doing, and I don't do the things "many are doing".}

Anyway, back to obedience.

I guess it's time for me to get down to the nitty-gritty.

Ugghhhhhh ..... I hate getting dirty.

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