It was here I almost put the book down and quit ...

... on page 12, just before the "What About Us?" section.

Seriously, at this point, I was done before I started.

Before you start reading my comments on Chapter 1 of Radical, you might want to read some background about me here. {That way maybe you'll only think I am a callous, disobedient woman, instead of knowing it.}

I'm also not going to lie. I had to read a little bit of Chapter 2 to keep me going. After Chapter 1 I was ready to just throw in the towel. I'm not even sure if I could be described as "Radical-ish". I don't think I am anywhere near that!

It was super easy for me to agree with the following statements:

{Pg. 7, talking about the well-meaning Christians at his church throwing a huge event} "[They are] People like you and people like me, who simply desire community, who want to be involved in church, who believe God is important in their lives ... somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves."

and

{Pg. 11, when the potential follower showed up and asked Jesus, "What must I do to inherit eternal life?"} "If we were in Jesus' shoes, we probably would be thinking this is our chance. A simple 'Pray this prayer, sign this card, bow your head and repeat after me,' and this guy is in. Then think about what a guy like this with all his influence and prestige can do. We can get him on the circuit. He can start sharing his testimony, signing books, raising money for the cause. This one is a no-brainer --- we have to get him in." ~ reminds me of what our former church is doing right now, planting a new campus of their church in the middle of one of the most affluent neighborhoods in our city, instead of in the middle of one of the poorest.

After those two statements I was feeling pretty good.

Until I read, "What About Us?" which really means, "What About You, Nicole?"

Done. Already, in Chapter 1?

I loved the description about the field with the treasure being Jesus, and how if the field was full of earthly treasure that we would run and sell all of our meager belongings to go and buy it. But when the treasure is Jesus, just Jesus, are we {me} willing to do the same?

My answer is, "No," as long as it pertains to me.

Just being honest here.

I am more worldy and earthly possessed and comfortable than I thought I was. I couldn't sell everything I have, leave my husband and children behind, or fail to attend one of my parents' funerals, to follow Jesus. I probably couldn't even bring myself to do a whole lot less.

I can't.

I am hoping that by reading this book, conversing with you ladies, and, most importantly, reading the Word and praying through this issue, that I can overcome my selfish ways.

It all sounds so great, like something I would like to do. But, honestly, I really just want to sit back and smile while I watch someone else do it!

I am too afraid for it to be me.

To read about other women, who likely are handling this better than me, go to Marla Taviano's blog here.